Yesterday turned into a de facto national holiday when news broke that the 2004 Will Ferrell-led comedy classic Anchorman would finally be getting a sequel. But while most of us were partying in the streets, there were the few who claimed making Anchorman 2 was a bad idea and pointed to the long list of failed "can't-miss" comedy sequels as proof. (I saw the words "Ghostbusters II" typed out more yesterday than I have in years.) These people are smelly pirate hookers. They're also wrong. Of course Anchorman 2 can live up to its legacy! It might not be easy, but I've got a few suggestions to get Ferrell and co-writer/director Adam McKay started in the right direction.
1. Try your best to get the whole cast back. And when I say "whole cast," I mean whole cast. I'm going to go ahead and assume that Ferrell, Paul Rudd, Steve Carell and David Koechner are already on board, or what would be the point? Fred Willard needs to be back too, and I'm sure Chris Parnell can fit in a few days of shooting in between 30 Rock appearances. And, hey, so long as it works in the context of the script, I don't think anyone is going to be opposed to all of the original film's fringe cameo players making a return appearance. Vince Vaughn, Luke Wilson, Ben Stiller and Tim Robbins should all be up for another epic throwdown. Note: Leaving Christina Applegate out here makes me feel a little sexist, but the fact is that (a) male-centric comedy sequels often replace the female lead/love interest (see: the Austin Powers films) for new story opportunities and (b) I still find Applegate to be the weakest part of Anchorman. If you own the Blu-ray, watch Amy Poehler's screen test for the part. So much funnier.
2. Go bigger and crazier. Anchorman gets a lot of comic mileage out of the battle of the sexes in '70s newsrooms, but the sequel should explore new ground. In the past, I've heard Ferrell and McKay muse that a theoretical Anchorman 2 could go international, with Ron Burgandy playing a part in the birth of cable news, which got its start when CNN launched in 1980. (The original film's postscript even hints at this.) That's a solid idea and exactly the kind of more expansive storyline this movie should embrace. The Afternoon Delight singalong remains a highlight of the first film, and there have been whispers that a sequel would feature an even bigger musical component. Hey, fine by me. Go ahead and make the whole movie an honest-to-god musical. Honestly, the more bizarre the idea, the better Anchorman 2 will likely be served by it. It if features a time-traveling Action 4 News Team that quantum-leaps straight from the '70s to 2014, where Ron and the team join a modern-day CNN and are thrust mustache-first into today's insane 24-hours news cycle, I'd welcome the concept with open arms. Although, that does make all the repeat cameos I want a trickier proposition, huh? Maybe Anchorman 2 kicks off with a street brawl and then onto the time-traveling!
3. Keep it PG-13. Film series rarely jump upward in rating from one film to the next. It usually goes the other way, with R rated comedies getting a watered-down PG-13 sequel. (See: Revenge of the Nerds or Major League.) But part of me wonders if Ferrell and McKay aren't planning a more risque sequel here. For one, all those Anchorman devotees who were just young teenagers in 2004 are now grown adults living in a post-Hangover world. And Ferrell has trafficked quite a bit in R-rated fair recently (Casa de mi Padre, Step Brothers and Semi-Pro were all R.) So I bet the temptation is there. Still, I'd resist it. Anchorman works so well because the film's comedy is nearly as sweet as it is ridiculous. After all, Ron Burgandy isn't even supposed to be smart enough to swear effectively. If you own the unrated version of Anchorman on home video, there's a scene where Ferrell drops a bunch of f-bombs in a row outside the news building. The whole thing falls terribly flat and largely serves to dull the impact of the one f-bomb used so gloriously in the film's theatrical PG-13 cut. ("Go fuck yourself, San Diego.") Anchorman 2 doesn't need tits and cursing. It needs more wonderful Ferrell-isms like "Great Odin's raven!" and other bits of PG-13-friendly buffoonery. That's just how this series rolls. (Although, if the various news teams do fuck each other's shit up again, by all means go nuts with that. Remember, the MPAA doesn't give a crap about violence in films, only nudity and language.)
